Ashermaster

where the hell is livejournal? oh wait, there it is.

2003-04-21T03:57:31Z

well well well, look who finally decided to show up. let me just say that I appreciate all of you who spoke your mind and protested my ending of the livejournal with sad instant messages, disgruntled emails, and slaps in the face. Just think of what could be accomplished if only we could all get together and protest te end of president bush's livejournal.

A special note to my good friend Mr. Chestnut, for carrying on the livejournal tradition (yeah, see, now its a tradition) while I gave the fuck up. Way to go tedders, I'm sorry for kicking you after you threw that dinosaur head at me when we were seven, I now see the hopelessness of copying the entire home alone script for no reason. there, that's settled.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Your power must've gone out a lot when you were a kid." -Me (to Matt, while he plays some sort of "game" involving balancing things in a frisbee I think.)

"I'm sorry, but I'm not drinking anything that's flammable." -Matt (giving a ridiculous excuse for not drinking bacardi 151 after noticing that the label said "flammable contents". apparently, matt was unaware that all alcohol is flammable, go figure.)

"croissants are god's way of saying, "hold up, you got flava up tha hizzie."" -Me (in a lovely note to amy in the middle of core class)

so, I'm a little intimidated by this whole "return from a month of not writing anything" thing, so I'm going to write about the best story that I can come up with from the past month. funny enough, it happened two days after the last entry. And so, without further adeu (is that how you spell it? what the hell is an adeu anyway? is it that horse thing that's half horse half zebra?):

The Little Boy and the Dinosaur Head

One bright, sunny, spring break day, Matt, Hoon, Noel and I went out to little tokyo for some chillin out maxin relazin all cool. As we walked to a restaurant, we noticed this huge, fairly impressive, dinosaur head leaning against a wall in front of a store. At the end of the day, Matt decided that we couldn't possibly leave without this head. I admit, it was the most awesome thing I had ever seen, but I was too afraid of getting caught by somebody to steal it. Matt decided to throw all worries out the door, and walked over, picked it up, and carried away as if he owned it in the first place. The three of us walked about 5 feet in front of matt, refusing to associate ourselves with this hooligan. Amazingly enough, Matt just strolled out of the shopping plaza with this dinosaur head the size of him like it aint no thing. We got all the way back to the parking lot when matt and I heard a very very upset japanese man yelling at us from down the street. He ran up to us, grabbed matt's hands, and pushed him down on the ground. he had some guy call the police, and we were pretty much fucked. Luckily, there were enough sane english- speaking bystanders to keep the store owner from assaulting matt for too long, and somehow they all bought our plea that we didn't know it belonged to anyone. In another stroke of luck, the trusty LAPD never showed up, so this other woman that worked at the store asked for matt's info and tried his phone number just to be sure he wasn't bullshitting. well she must not use phones a lot, because not only did she never understand that the number included the extension she kept asking us for, but she also left her phone on and left a 15 minute message on matt's voicemail of her yelling at us. a wonderful memento from a beautiful day.

Well I hope you all enjoyed that. goodnight. (for good? who knows....)

If only I could spend all spring break with Rock, Inc.

2003-03-16T22:50:53Z

"really when you get down to it, manana without the squiggley n is just banana with an m"- colin (ok, it was really me to colin. (ok, it was really me to myself.))

"my mother died today! my mother died today!"-some old folk singer. (before you think i'm some sicko for writing this quote, picture the situation. This guy came into erica's class and sang we shall overcome and asked the kids to participate, and the kids started to laugh. And so he freaked out and started yelling about how we need folk music to save us in our time of war and how the kids didn't care that people were dying for their freedom, and then he changed the words from we shall overcome to my mother died today to mock them but I guess it didn't work because everyone just laughed more. disappointed crazy old people will all have a place somewhere in my heart...)

Man, since when did livejournal become such a chore. I think I'm reaching the point in this relationship where physical attractiveness is just not doing it anymore. Livejournal needs to fulfill all of my needs, and I'm not sure how that can be accomplished without IT writing to ME about IT'S fucking week, god dammit. All right, enough discussing the emotional inadequacy of my computer programs.

All right well its spring break, after a week sort of hard. Well it was more of a hard Sunday, since I put off two 5 pagers till then. I guess the rest of the week was spent thinking about how hard Sunday was. So Thursday colin and I sat on the lawn and watched this band called Rock, Inc. play for about two hours. My my my, Rock, Inc. The name is so unbelievably lame that it would cross over into the cool status if it was the name of any other band than this one- picture about 8 or so fat white guys with goatees and sunglasses and backwards berets singing really REALLY shitty versions of old r&b songs. The zenith (yes, i just used an sat word) of the occasion was most certainly when the lead singer's mic went out and then a guy gave them a new mic after half the song was ruined, and then that mic went out too and they freaked out. And so the downfall of Roc Inc. was imminent. At least it made me appreciate my dad's old fat white guy playing old r&b song band for the first time, well i guess ever. I mean at least that band is talented.

So we have this plan to go to Lake Tahao/ Monterey/ San Francisco (All or opne of those depending on how organized we turn out to be.) and snowboard. God help us if we think we can figure out this plan in two days, oh well, theres plenty of phat things to do in socal. i think.

so yesterday was day 1 of "Adventure LA 2K3". And it rained for the first time since january, so we had no choice but to go outside and play sports. I must say this about la, when it rains it pours. So me, matt, chelsea, and erica played through the entire olympic set- football, soccer, freeze tag, and of course, spud. Then we sledded on the "hill" between chilcott and hanes for a good 20 minutes, as matt and I devised the most aerodynamic bobsled made out of a cardboard box in history. Believe it or not, none of us were under the effects of one substance or another (that was fri night in yet another glorious 14-person drunk/high ultimate frisbee game in the middle of the paulie party.)

Everyone's got something to hide except for me and my ipod.

2003-03-08T19:54:02Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"I just thought he'd talk a little more about media"-Colin "Did you think that it had nothing to do with our class?"-Prof. Yau "Well, idduno, I just thought maybe Enron was a media company or something."-Colin
(To appreciate this quote, you have to understand that prof yau had us go to this enron speaker instead of class. That would make sense if we were in any other class but intro to media studies. In a subtle move, Colin makes an attempt at the next class to point out that we had no reason to go see the speaker. hehe.)

"Put on a bunny suit and have a knife fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend who is dressed as a transformer." -Amoeba Records Staff (in a description of why they recommend the Flaming Lip's "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots")

Ok well not much has happened in the days since Ungar's birthday. umm a lot of tests and papers and being sick and not being able to get fucked up because i'm on antibiotics. But i got the shins cd at amoeba so I guess that makes up for some of it.

So listen to this. So about two weeks ago I got a mysterious envelope on my desk, which turned out to be a $150 gift certificate from koxy for no real reason. Anyways like i said before, i used the certificate to help pay for the ipod i got for my b-day. About one week later, the school senate discovers that Aaron Feldman (The head of KOXY) gave me the certificate and gave somebody else a $100 one. They freak out, and suspend him for misuse of funds. The best part is, if I hadn't bought the ipod, i'd still have the certificate and i could return it and things would be over. Instead, I have an ipod and KOXY is under investigation. Oh well, heh, i didn't ask for anything, they're the idiots that gave me money for no reason. Plus KOXY is full of dicks and retards so i dont feel bad if a couple of them have to take a break.

So not much else to say. Enjoy your weekend everyone.

The great return.

2003-03-06T23:53:39Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "He's such an asshole" -Colin "Why is he an asshole?" -Me "I don't know. I guess his parents just didn't teach him about morals."-Colin

"Is it true what they say about you? Do you tell it like it is?" -This kid that Melanie had to babysit for a friend.

Ok ok, I know people are upset. I was kind of in a state of mind in the last two weeks where I just didn't feel like doing anything more than what was necessary, and this didn't feel necessary. Sorry to those who actually had to do their work for their classes because they didn't have the distraction of the livejournal. Anyways those days have passed and I am back with life. So some updates:

For those of you who didn't know because you are not my real friend and/or you have made a decision to reject the modern day calendar, my birthday was last Friday. It was a good time except I had this weird lump under the skin under my arm (I know you love the graphic details) so I went to Emmons (the campus medical center, if you want to pretend like it doesn't suck for five minutes.) to get it checked out and they said it was an infected lymph node because I have bronchitis. This came as quite a shock to me, as I wasn't having coughing problems or even feeling remotely sick- I just got freaked out by the lump. So anyways the doctor gives me all these antibiotics and shit, so I can't drink at my big birthday fiesta later that evening. Sad that these things happen, but it got broken up anyways and half our alcohol got thrown out (nice job hiding the rest under pressure, keith). So after that we went and got more beer, which I was still unable to drink. Then we went to Chris' room waiting for my inevitable doom- Oxy has this tradition where when a person has a birthday their friends throw them in the fountain in the middle of campus. So, as I sat in the back of a room with fifteen or so friends, I began to accept my fate. Well, my fate was cold, and my fate was wet, but it was all in good fun. Ask me for a pic of it and i'll send one to you.

The next day I just had a shitload of work to get done, and i somehow managed to get most of it done. Most of it was Koxy graphic design, but it was still such a gigantic pain in the ass because the people i work for are lazy ass bitches. Damn them to hell. It was ok though because my parents birthday money came and I got a phattie iPod on which I will one day store everything I've ever heard. My favorite part about it is that the organization is so tight- and I'm the second most anal person i know with regards to music, only under colin.

Sunday Matt and Keith got a new couch from keith's aunt and replaced it with the old one. Then, I walked in and the two halfs of my brain -one half to play dr mario and the other half to make forts out of couches, evaluated the situation and figured out how to keep the old couch and chair in the room while also keeping the new couch. So now Matt and Keith's room has two couches, a chair, and now a lovely nightstand turned coffee table (complete with alcohol hiding drawer) in the middle. Later in the week, they bought a bunch of black lights and rope lights, and the fun began to get too intense for any of us to really handle. We discovered that highlighters glow like crazy in black lights so we stuck one in an old smirnoff bottle with water, and made a lovely lamp. Then we discovered that scotch tape also glows really well, and so a huge mural was inevitable. After two afternoons I had created what one may call an epic tribute to mankind and the universe. In scotch tape I made a mural on Matt and Keith's wall depicting a bar with a robot bartender saying "back that ass up" and a an astronaut smoking a hookah with a sign behind him that says "Liftoff at 4:20". Its biblical to say the least, plus its practically invisible in normal light. After the mural I made a huge spaceship in their doorway, and so our space- themed party room currently titled the Launch Pad was born. Last night was its big debut and it passed with flying colors as not only did everyone get totally plastered, but the ra's came in and couldn't find the liquor. After two minutes, we had actually convinced them that we were really all there watching "Tremors" in spanish on tv. Thanks "Tremboles" for saving our ass.

Well I think this is enough to make up for the week or two I missed. Have a good weekend, I know the Launch Pad will....

iammegaman @ 2003-02-25T00:18:00

2003-02-25T08:18:44Z

Two other bands, and two of my favorites, I just found out are performing at Coachella....The White Stripes and Blur. I need to do my laundry again.

Now if only the ticketmaster people will email the goddamn tickets to me already

MATT'S LAST STAND, and other president's weekend stories.

2003-02-21T04:29:42Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY "There are two kinds of people in this world, those who like Animaniacs, and those who don't." -South Park (It was too good to not put up)

Well, three day weekend, I don't even know where to begin.

Friday consisted of smoking, playing the most intense ultimate game in my life, running away from the drunk football players throwing bottles at us, getting taco bell, throwing up taco bell, playing the new bond game, and going to sleep. All in a day's work.

Saturday I played bond for the majority of the morning (and by morning I obviously mean 1:30-4pm) with Colin and then a bunch of us went out in search of a couch for Matt and Keith's room. We found one right by escarpa, but it looked too shitty and wet from the rain to carry back and keep. So we drove back to oxy. After about 3 seconds, we decided that a gross couch was better than no couch, so we drove back and carried the damn thing back to their room. After three blowdryers, one broken circuit, two air fresheners and four bed sheets from Target, we had created a lounge in the room. To celebrate we had a big drunken party that night- later this night would be named, Matt's Last Stand, and I will tell you why. Matt Ungar has had only a few sips of alcohol in his life. We decided he should at least experience getting buzzed, so we got him some girly shmirnoff ice. He was doing fine. About 4 or 5 ice's later, Matt moved to stealing Chris' forty and taking shots of Vodka. All I remember is walking into their room an hour after I had left and being very shocked that Matt was a. Alive, b.Awake, and c.Still Drinking. The boy went all out, which leads me to his introduction to the other side of getting drunk the following morning.....

So Sunday was the big snowboarding trip we've been planning for, well not a while, but we planned it so that counts. We all wake up at 7:15 and head out within an hour. When I see Matt, I asked him how he felt and he said, "fine". Five minutes into the drive to Summit, we pull over and matt pukes. 5 minutes back onto the highway, Matt pukes. 5 minutes later at another gas station, matt pukes. In a 2 hour trip, Matt Ungar puked a record 8 times out the front window of noel's car. Well, once matt had a grand finale in front of the Quiznos we were about to have lunch at, we were set to board. We boarded from noon to 6:00 in one of the best snowboarding trips I've ever taken. Just 5 guys, a digital camera, and some snow- to put it in the words of Peter Lui: "I wish I was a poet..."
The best part was getting back and then exchanging stories with phil and george who had gone to mexico to surf for the weekend- we still have to coordinate a snow-surf trip, and I imagine that one will be a longer drive with more puking.....

Monday was recovery.....bond and idduno maybe something else...I forget.

Tuesday Colin and I started playing the old Castlelvania game for playstation, a new mission for the upcomming school week.

Wednesday Colin and I played more Castlevania than I can rightfully explain in this entry. Just imagine an hour for each of these letters and multiply that by 4 and that's probably pretty close.

On another note, I just heard about this year's Coachella Music Festival, and I am stunned to the point of becoming mute. Listen to the line-up and try to stop yourself from crying and/or peeing uncontrollably all over yourself:

Beastie Boys
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Gomez
Hot Hot Heat
Thievery Corporation
Grandaddy
Ladytron
Ben Kweller
Asop Rock
Division of Laura Lee
and way too many more to remember...

Tickets will be $140 for two days and will go on sale on sat and will be only one fucking hour away so if you're like me you will be selling your soul fri night and the first in line at 10 the next day. Peace.

Your reading this proves that your week was equally boring.

2003-02-14T04:58:03Z

QUOTES OF THE DAY:
"I hated Ace Ventura"- Sunghoon "Well, that's just because you're not an American"-Me

"I hope I get a thong tonight..."-Me (Our school does condom/thong valentines on v-day)

"There are two things in life you can control: your effort and your attitude."-Peter Liu "And your hands"-Colin

"This paper is a bitch. A horny, horny bitch."-Tom

"Damn random drug testings...at least I jump high."-Megan "I jump when I'm high too."-Me (This is an excerpt of my conversation with track and field superstar Meg, who was disappointed she could not smoke up during track season, on the ultranet. There you go, Meg, now you're famous.)

ATTENTION: FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I"VE COME BACK TO CALI, WE HAVE RAIN!!!! GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS RAIN!!

This week was bullshit. Here's a quick outline of the key events:

Monday: Easy Mac and Goldeneye in Chris' room at 3:30 am

Tuesday: Getting new Birkenstocks (finally...my others practically cease to exist.) and depositing my paychecks in Old Town.

Wednesday: Owning a hard ass paper from Prof. Yau on "Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction"

Thursday: Colin and I beat Leo and Pedro in the first round of the doubles pool tournament on the 8 ball in game 3. Later I lost to Phil in the singles tournament also by one ball in the third game. Oh well, you win some you lose some. And to Teddy, who's probably reading this and thinking "asher, win, and pool should not be in the same sentence" know that now I OWN at pool (just like ping pong) and you will feel my wrath the next time we're in Vermont.

Friday: Well, we'll just have to see, won't we.

On a different note, I am so pissed of that the two bands that oxy is deciding between for the spring concert are good charlotte and blues traveler. Blues traveler is better than good charlotte, but only because good charlotte are the absolute zero of music. I heard that for a separate event we were looking at a list of other acts, and one of them was Vanilla Ice. We decided against it, but I am so fucking disappointed....I wanted to ask him to perform an improvisational tribute to "Havin' a Roni" or "Go Ninja, Go". Oh well I guess that's what I get for going to school in SoCal, shitty pop-punk bands.

Happy V-Day everybody. Peace out.

The La Brea Tar Pits Translated: The "The Tar" Tar Pits. Man, americans are retarded.

2003-02-10T05:48:44Z

QUOTES OF THE DAY: "Asher I may hate you more than any other person in the world"-Noel (and I know he's reading this, so FUCK YOU NOEL.) I hate you for life.

"The only thing I can say is that that's one gay little pit"-Colin (Referring to Tar Pit #9- see below)

So last night was pretty good. We had the school formal, and somehow it moved from awful to sucked to not sucked to good in about half an hour. I'm impressed oxy, i'm impressed. Actually i'm sure the 5 people there that weren't drunk were not having as good a time. So this morning Colin Finn and I get up at the wee hour of 1 pm, and head out on our second attempt to find the la brea tar pits. At first, we were going to go to the museum of Jurassic Technology, because it sounded like it was devoted to robots and dinosaurs- two of the most awesome things in the world. Then we discovered via the hypernet that it had neither robots NOR dinosaurs so we gave up on that. So we actually found the tar pits and went to the museum there, and it was pretty cool. I'm a little upset that we learned so much, but I guess I can get over it. At least we were learning about cool shit like mammoths and saber-tooth cats and shit. We talked to this tour guide for like ten minutes.
A little piece of our conversation with the tour guide.(Apparently Colin doesn't know what a rhetorical question is...):
"So, we just don't know whats around us. If you dig a hole in a random part of the park, will we hit asphalt?"-Tour Guide "Yes"-Colin "Will we find any bones?"-Tour Guide "Probably" -Colin "well, we just don't know...."-Tour Guide
So then after about 90 minutes of tar pits (actually, its asphalt, believe it or not, and you should believe it because its true) we left in search of amoeba, (but not before getting burgers at Carls Jr and making fun of the drug addict in the booth in front of us.). Somehow, beyond all understanding of the human brain, I managed to not get a cd at amoeba. Thank god for the listening stations they put up, now I can convince myself that an album sucks so I dont feel bad about not being able to afford it. That didn't stop Finn and Colin-they split the money on the cd from Peaches. If you havent heard Peaches, consider yourself a blessed soul. Imagine a shitty casio drum beat and then a woman that looks like a man talking about sucking on her titties. And that's the best song. Now the cd that I wanted to get was by this band called the Bobbyteens. I have no idea what they sound like, but their albums show three really ugly fat british girls(I assume they're british because they're ugly and fat) and a skinny asian dude with long hair named Russell. With songs like "Young and Dumb" and "Everything you know I taught you" how could they not kick ass? The big mystery is how someone could have allowed them to make 3 separate cds.

Well not enough happened after that to talk about. I'm just going to sit and pretend to do work till Sunday night cranium. peace.

Note to self: When catching a frisbee high in the middle of the night, look out for brick walls.

2003-02-09T03:04:12Z

QUOTES OF THE DAY: "Why do the sunsets in LA always look like the front of a trapper keeper?"- Me

"I feel like a perverted troll."- this shitty comic on Comedy Central. "Ewww"-Chelsea "Hey, at least you don't have to live with one"-Colin (referring to john, his roommate.)

"I'm just waiting for the day that he dies. Then I will have the whole room to myself."-Colin (Once again on John. Colin doesn't like his roommate.)

Fri night, what fun. This is how it went:

Hot box Noels car.
Drive around creepy neighborhood in the hills.
Go to taco bell and make complete fools out of ourselves in front of the drive in speaker.
[This is the period of time that I can't seem to remember. We were in Newcomb for a bit though. I think.]
Hike up mt. Figi, only to find that some weirdos were already there bustin our groove. Bustin big time.....
Hike/ tumble down the other side of mt. Figi. This took a very very long time.
Hiked in the hills for a while until we stumbled upon the baseball diamond of Eagle Rock High School.
Thank god we brought the glow in the dark frisbee.
Two hours later, we hike back to oxy to the best of our ability.
We finally make it to the lobby, and pop in labyrinth.
I stay up just long enough to sing along with Dance Magic Dance (David Bowie is a god among men. well among muppets anyway.)
Go to bed after a very productive and educational evening.

Wish me luck for an equally fruitful sat night. Siya

iammegaman @ 2003-02-06T17:33:00

2003-02-07T01:33:05Z

sorry, glow IN the dark.

Why the fuck arent the la brea tar pits on la brea ave.?

2003-02-07T01:30:18Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Getting caught staring at girls is almost as fun as not getting caught staring at girls."-Colin

You know somethings fucked up when you take a sick day from class and the day seems to go exactly the same way as any other day. I mean, if sick days arent special, what are? Its not like we're getting a fucking snow day any time soon. Dammit, at least i didn't have class.

So Colin and I went out to hollywood for some chillin out maxin relaxin all cool, and i got two phat cds from amoeba. I got the Simian cd that i forgot about for a year and it kicks ass, and then Colin found this cd from a group called theivary corporation and it kicks even more ass. Its like if portishead was bjork singing to a different genre of music every track. It made us feel better that the two cds we came there looking for (the new supergrass and cat power cds) hadn't come out yet. Then we went out looking for the la brea tar pits and it just got us lost.

Oh and last night the glow and the dark frisbee dream was fully realized. George, Colin, Matt, and Doug beat Me, Keith, Hoon, and Phil 21-19 (after a 6 fucking point comeback) in the best ultimate game i've ever played in the dark. On that note, peace.

I want to live in the matrix. Or GTA. Anywhere where people do backflips over things in cars

2003-02-05T21:47:20Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "So this is real money? And we invest it? And we can make money and lose it? And then we get more money.....sometimes?"- Derek (after a 15 minute presentation on a club that manages an endowment through investing in the stock market. obviously derek wasn't paying attention until the guy said "any questions")

I love la, listen to the fun we have out here. Last night, at around 9 or so, the news started covering this car chase. It was still going on at around 11, and we realized that the chopper cam had the town that the chase had moved to on it and of course it was good old eagle rock. Then we realize that the chase is now going on right in front of the In N Out Burger that we go to. Then, the best part is when we see 6 choppers flying around next to oxy trying to keep track of the guy. Six choppers is totally awesome yo. Eventually the car runs out of gas and they catch him, it was a little disappointing because we were all waiting for him to like do a backflip over a swimming pool and then jump out and kick everyone's ass matrix style and then get all GTA on someone's ass and hijack a schoolbus and drive through a hospital or something, and that didn't really happen so much. He just walked backwards with his hands in the air to the car and they arrested him. He didn't even do a backflip into the car, that asshole.

also another fun Hollywood moment was when we were watching tv and saw some shitty sprint commercial with little richie when we noticed that it took place in the same bowling alley that we went to sat, the one that I stole the shoes from. this makes little richie now my favorite celebrity to have made an appearance on full house. Take that, fucking beach boys.

peace.

I want to live in the matrix. Or GTA. Anywhere where people do backflips over things in cars

2003-02-05T21:25:12Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "So this is real money? And we invest it? And we can make money and lose it? And then we get more money?"- Derek (after a 15 minute presentation on a club that manages an endowment through investing in the stock market. obviously derek wasn't paying attention until the guy said "any questions")

I love la, listen to the fun we have out here. Last night, at around 9 or so, the news started covering this car chase. It was still going on at around 11, and we realized that the chopper cam had the town that the chase had moved to on it and of course it was good old eagle rock. Then we realize that the chase is now going on right in front of the In N Out Burger that we go to. Then, the best part is when we see 6 choppers flying around next to oxy trying to keep track of the guy. Six choppers is totally awesome yo. Eventually the car runs out of gas and they catch him, it was a little disappointing because we were all waiting for him to like do a backflip over a swimming pool and then jump out and kick everyone's ass matrix style and then get all GTA on someone's ass and hijack a schoolbus and drive through a hospital or something, and that didn't really happen so much. He just walked backwards with his hands in the air to the car and they arrested him. He didn't even do a backflip into the car, that asshole.

also another fun Hollywood moment was when we were watching tv and saw some shitty sprint commercial with little richie when we noticed that it took place in the same bowling alley that we went to sat, the one that I stole the shoes from. this makes little richie now my favorite celebrity to have made an appearance on full house. Take that, fucking beach boys.

peace.

College is a whole bunch of doodie in the blender

2003-02-04T22:51:16Z

QUOTES OF THE DAY:

"Why god, why after I wake up at 2:30 am I still tired?"-doug

"Ooooh that hill looks absolutely magical."-Me "See that's what I love about you asher, you're so east coast. People would never talk like that on the west coast."-Chris "Just for the record Chris, people would never talk like that on the east coast either" -Colin

"Well if lobsters do it..." (My Utopia Prof., after we discussed whether rape was unjust and someone suggested that what happens in nature should structure man's justice, and somebody else pointed out that lobsters rape each other as part of the breeding system.)

So I'm telling you right now that the only thing that happened in the past two days was a 2 hour game of ultimate Frisbee last night. With that in mind, here are some funny things that happened to Colin in the past couple of days, because well I guess better things happen to him.

So, there are these two twin guys on my floor that I guess are probably seniors. All the girls are like in love with them because I guess they look like abrercrombie models or something (its good to know girls aren't as superficial as guys, right.......) but they never ever ever talk to anyone. I live on their floor and have never heard wither of them say anything. So anyways, Friday night colin is hanging with chris and catherine and somehow they make it into the twins room and smoke with one of them (of course colin doesn't remember how he got there), and now that guy always says hi to colin. But colin doesn't know which twin it was so he now has to avoid them forever (it'd be rude if he didn't say hi to the one he does know when he runs into him but it would be fuckd up if he said hi to other one who still has never spoken to any of us. Hee hee, its pretty funny.

And the other one is good too.

So colin and matt are playing playstation in colin's room and they're getting really into it and yelling at each other and shit (it's an nhl game, so I know teddy understands...) and they hear a knock on the door. But colin is too distracted to even turn to the door, so he yells for them to just open it and come in. It was an admissions officer with a family and prospective student. So here this officer is, probably in the middle of some speech about the strong biology program or whatever and she opens the door to two guys playing playstation and yelling at each other in the middle of a Monday afternoon. Niiiice.
Oh and the best part was that they came in to show them what a typical room looks like, and colin has the worst room in newcomb. Go oxy admission!

All right, back to risk.

iammegaman @ 2003-02-02T16:26:00

2003-02-03T00:27:12Z

Disregard the double-submission. i messed up.

Oh and a side note, a little more Hollywood fun. I was reading some article about britney spears and the guy from the recruit (don't ask me why i was, i just was) and they mentioned that they were seen sat night at a "trendy la nightclub called the troubadour", the very same troubadour that we got stranded at just four nights later. In some ways this makes me feel like maybe I've vicariously hooked up with britney spears, in other ways....no.

Submitted for the approval of the midnight society.....

2003-02-03T00:12:00Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Does anybody want to get involved with this green peace committee?"-Erica "You lost me at involved"-Colin

"It's like having every question you've ever asked answered at the exact same time. And then you go, "of course..."-Me (describing what its like to be high to Matt)

"Sorry, Josh. That story was pretty fucking week. Why don't you leave and never come back. You're out of the midnight society forever asshole. Go home and go to bed, it's a school night." -Me (Theorizing on what the other members of the Midnight Society (from are you afraid of the dark, joey) would say if a story that was submitted for the approval of the midnight society was not approved.)

"I bet they didn't even tell ghost stories while the rest of the show was playing. I bet they just talked about their summer vacations or something." -Matt

"They'd have to be deaf, blind, or both to find stories like that scary."-Matt "Well then I'm sure it was very difficult for them to find the campfire in the middle of the forest every week."-Me

(As you can see, we had quite the engaging conversation about Are You Afraid of the Dark.)

Everybody went snowboarding and i didn't get to go because my mommy and daddy didn't have time to ship my snowboarding shit out here. God Dammit. I don't have gloves or a hat or a coat out here anyway so i guess the snowboard is the least of my problems.

So fri night i saw the recruit- about as perfectly mediocre as possible. Then we came back and smoked on the soccer field and played summer camp games. I almost twisted my ankle playing duck duck goose/ freeze tag and it was glorious. Actually I believe the term I used that night was "magical". I guess it was both.

Sat. night I went bowling. We have a crazy old school bowling alley down the street. There are no machines that send your ball back, they roll back on this little track and pop up at the end. Anyways the lady gave me the bowling shoes and for like 5 minutes and she wouldn't let me give her one of my shoes so i just kept them and stole the bowling shoes. And they have neon laces, so i feel awesome about that.

All right, off to play pool. Level 13 of risk is hard.

iammegaman @ 2003-02-02T15:57:00

2003-02-02T23:57:48Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Does anybody want to get involved with this green peace committee?"-Erica "You lost me at involved"-Colin

"It's like having every question you've ever asked answered at the exact same time. And then you go, "of course..."-Me (describing what its like to be high to Matt)

"Sorry, Josh. That story was pretty fucking week. Why don't you leave and never come back. You're out of the midnight society forever asshole. Go home and go to bed, it's a school night." -Me (Theorizing on what the other members of the Midnight Society (from are you afraid of the dark, joey) would say if a story that was submitted for the approval of the midnight society was not approved.)

"I bet they didn't even tell ghost stories while the rest of the show was playing. I bet they just talked about their summer vacations or something." -Matt

"They'd have to be deaf, blind, or both to find stories like that scary."-Matt "Well then I'm sure it was very difficult for them to find the campfire in the middle of the forest every week."-Me

(As you can see, we had quite the engaging conversation about Are You Afraid of the Dark.)

Everybody went snowboarding and i didn't get to go because my mommy and daddy didn't have time to ship my snowboarding shit out here. God Dammit. I don't have gloves or a hat or a coat out here anyway so i guess the snowboard is the least of my problems.

So fri night i saw the recruit- about as perfectly mediocre as possible. Then we came back and smoked on the soccer field and played summer camp games. I almost twisted my ankle playing duck duck goose/ freeze tag and it was glorious. Actually I believe the term I used that night was "magical". I guess it was both.

Sat. night I went bowling. We have a crazy old school bowling alley down the street. There are no machines that send your ball back, they roll back on this little track and pop up at the end. Anyways the lady gave me the bowling shoes and for like 5 minutes i she wouldn't let me give her one of my shoes so i just kept them and stole the bowling shoes. And they have neon laces, so i feel awesome about that.

All right, off to play pool. Level 13 of risk is hard.

iammegaman @ 2003-02-01T18:39:00

2003-02-02T02:39:36Z

oh my god. i beat level twelve of risk.

Bonobo kicks Koko's ASS! Fuck you, sign language!

2003-01-31T23:55:50Z

QUOTES OF THE DAY:
"Obviously these philosophers never watched Star Trek. If they did they would know that the Clingon state is definitely a Timarchy."-my professor for Visions of Utopia "Please somebody get me out of this class" -me (whispering to noel)

"Hackysack is all about the moves you DON'T make, just like the matrix."-colin

"See ya later Tom"-Me "Shalom, Asher"-Tom

"What's weird is that I don't think I could understand if a whole other color existed in the world that we didn't know existed."-me"Really? I feel like I could handle another color. Like Michatka."-Tom "What's Michatka?"-Me "I have no idea. I just made it up."-Tom

Well we got Noel's car back, and we discovered that the people that broke into Hoon's car were trying to steal it but couldn't break the key thingie, so i guess things are looking up....

Today I saw the most amazing thing in Psych. We watched a video about this species of Chimp called a Bonobo that we have actually taught how to understand english. This woman told the bonobo to make a fire by getting some branches and breaking them in half, and then getting her lighter out of her pocket. The thing fucking did it. Idduno man, it blew my mind out.

Peace out.

Wednesday night is not a good night to be stranded in Hollywood.

2003-01-30T17:24:05Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY; "where are you going?"-me "California"-noel

Last night was quite a night. So Noel, Colin, Hoon and me had tickets to see Hot Hot Heat, The Walkmen, and Apollo Sun at the Troubadore in West Hollywood. This being the big glittering entranceway into the socal indie scene, we tried to make ourselves as indie as possible. Well, after we couldn't find any temporary black hair dye at target, we pretty much gave up on the whole thing. We should have really seen that bit of misfortune as an omen for the rest of the night.

So we go to the concert. Of course it kicks ass, so we're all pumped from just seeing a good show. Oh yeah and the bassist form No Doubt and that old guy with the glasses from Access Hollywood was there for some reason. We get our cd's or t shirts or whatever and meanwhile there's a whole bunch of people we didn't know but recognized from oxy. They noticed Colin and he pretty much blew them off (a mistake he will regret in a moment). So we go back to the car, and there is no car. So we walk around the sidestreets confused for about 5 minutes and come back. We now notice that there are two big ass signs saying that all the shit between the two signs is a tow-away area. So we're all, "fucking shit." Now Colin remembers the oxy people he blew off and we run back tot the theater to try and get a ride, but of course they had left already. So we call Pete Liu from the payphone in the theater, and after about twenty minutes of looking for a way to get into Hoon's room and get his car keys (including having to find drunken Finn at a party to open the door) he left to get us. In the end it was about an hour and a half of sitting in front of the theater, wondering where noel's car may be. Pete arrives in Finn's car, and the reason for this is that while we were at the concert, somebody smashed the window of Hoon's car and stole the cd player. As you can imagine the night was filled with a lot of waiting and sitting and nobody talking. Well at least the concert still kicked ass.

What's the time? IT"S TIME TO GET ILL.

2003-01-29T07:37:26Z

ATTENTION! I FIGURED OUT HOW TO HAVE A SUBJECT BAR! IT ONLY TOOK THREE MONTHS!
Tonight at hallspread we had to make cards for sick kids in the hospital. Well, being the twisted people we are, we came up with a list of the worst possible cards a kid could receive:
NOTE: If you start getting mad at us keep in mind we all made plenty of pretty cards with rainbows and stickers and shit and we actually sent those to the kids....these are just happy time ideas.
Oh, and these are all QUOTES OF THE DAY:

Rest In Peace-Colin
Rich people don't get sick.-Colin
Wear a smile all the time! Eat a dick.-Me
Time's running out (and a picture of a clock...)-Sunghoon
Can I have your bike?-Colin
Don't worry, nobody loved you when you were healthy.-Colin

Now these were actual cards that people sent out:

Elephant. (and a picture of an elephant). Get Better.-Noel
Eat some medicine.-Noel
Get better woman. (and the "o" in woman was replaced with a Jewish star, for no reason I can find...)-Derek (who else would do that...)

Hope you enjoyed that. Peace, love, happiness, and Crystal for all, and to all a good night.

iammegaman @ 2003-01-27T16:42:00

2003-01-28T00:42:16Z

QUOTES OF THE DAY: "My sister's getting pretty hot" -Colin

"Well I don't have to worry about getting pregnant, so fuck that." -Me (in response to the creepy superbowl ad about how smoking pot makes girls pregnant or something)

"Sorry but I'm just not into eating poop."-Sunghoon (in response to Noel saying something about how something made him feel like pooping on his face or something. Idduno it was weird.)

So school. Back to the daily grind of fast food and videogames. Hey, but I read a book last night so fuck you all! A WHOLE FUCKING BOOK! awesome.

Now I have to read another book.

That's a lot of reading.

So what did I do this weekend. I went to Amoeba Records with FInn and Colin and guess who we saw? The brother from clueless. It was intense, except for the fact that none of us really cared that much. It was like, "that's the guy from clueless. oh yeah. yeah. ok. yeah. lets go away." I got the new live manu chao cd, which was way too insane for me to really handle- it was like a big latin party and I was an uncomfortable little Jewish boy. and not even saphardic....

So after Amoeba we traveled far and wide for whiffle ball equipment. Tell me if this is weird: All six stores we checked had whiffle BALLS. None of them had whiffle ball BATS. Fucking california man, I tell ya.... Back home it's like gas stations and supermarkets sell beef jerkey, sometimes milk, dart guns, and whiffle ball bats.

Friday night I went with (if I remember correctly) a big ass crew to the compound party. Boy what fun, and may I say thank god for the fucking taco truck in eagle rock at 2 am. Let me just say that smoking up in an alleyway in a spanish neighborhood of LA in front of a Taco truck that's made for spanish people and nobody even understands english beyond "meat and vegetable", (not that fucking college truck bullshit), is an experience.

So the rest of the weekend was a lot more down time. Superbowl Sunday was mucho fun-a, because the Buckaneers pissed all over the raiders (and there are a good amount of raiders fans here so it was all the better) and then took a shit in their mouth and made them eat the shit and then shit the shit out and eat it again while the piss dried on their face. poor raiders.....

All right. back to risk.

iammegaman @ 2003-01-24T09:19:00

2003-01-24T17:19:54Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "We should all just do heroin and explode" -Colin

Damn people with birthdays during the week. Why must they force us to get fucked up on a school night.....

So college is fun.

My classes seem pretty fun. But not as easy as last semester. I think my classes are suddenly all compensating for the lack of reading that I've had to do in the recent years of high school. I have five books for intro to media studies, four for psych., and eight, eight fucking books for visions of utopia. Oh well, at least I will be smart, I guess.

I'm particularly worried about intro to media studies- Colin and I are the only freshman in the class, and although we've had the teacher before and she likes us, a good 1/4 of the first class was her telling us that the class will probably be too hard for us and we'll have to drop it. What the fuck, I thought this was an INTRO class biotch. Oh well, at least I will be smart, I guess.

Fuck this, work sucks.

Peace out to the Gs, Hustlers, Pimps, and all the Skanks that make this life so entertaining. God bless you all.

iammegaman @ 2003-01-22T09:50:00

2003-01-22T17:50:23Z

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "My love for him is boundless and plentiful"-Erica "You sound like you're in a tampon ad" -Me

"This semester's over before it's begun" -Peter Liu (referring to our shiny new pool table we found in our lobby)

Ah, back and better than ever. So nobody liked my story, so fuck you all, you get no more stories.

ok so a story: So the second I walk into the airport I check my bags next to this girl, who I swear I've seen before but I don't know where. So I just ignore her, thinking oh well. So I go to my gate and she's there again, so then I'm racking my brain trying to think of where I know this girl from. I couldn't remember if I was friends with her, and if so from where, or if I even knew her name. So I shrug it off like whatever. We get on the airplane, she's sitting like the row across from me, so its awkward enough. When I get my bags, I go over to super shuttle to get a ride to school, and she shows up at the exact same time. So the super shuttle guy is like, oh, do you guys know each other (seeing that we're both going to the same school), and then I realize how I know her. This girl, with someone else, came to our dorm to talk about STD's. My only memory of this girl is how she demonstrated putting on a condom and answered questions about dental damns and shit. After imagining having every possible sort of relationship from every place I've ever been, she's the STD girl. That was pretty amusing.

All right class soon, peace out.

iammegaman @ 2003-01-20T23:51:00

2003-01-21T04:51:06Z

Oooh two more disappointing albums real quick before I forget. Super Furry Animals- Rings Around The World (I don't even know what to call this, excepted way over-hyped. Sometimes its good, bust most of the time its just too much like mediocre pop music from two decades ago.) and Pixies- The Purple Tape (Ok, the story behind this is that apparently there was this lost tape of Pixies demos for the past ten years, and this was the first time it was released. I guess the demo of Here Comes Your Man is worth a download, but they didn't even include the songs from the tape that made it to Surfer Rosa, and the rest are worse than shit.)